Noticing the Initiation

Moshé Feldenkrais says that once you start your movement, you are committed. There's very little chance to improve on it. What's tricky about this is that it's also true that once you 'decide' to start a movement and go to consciously initiate it, you will have already begun the movement. If you want to know what you're actually doing – how you committed, how you might commit 'better' in the future – you have to accept that your consciousness is just too slow. To be aware of what you're doing, you have to move in such a way that it enhances your noticing and plays evasive tricks on your too-slow consciousness. 'Such a way' almost always involves slow, small and accepting movement. Curiosity rather than pain. So sneak up on yourself. Pay attention. And then just think about doing a movement without actually doing it. Notice how you recruit yourself. Already, parts of you are wanting to jump in and help. So back off. Let it go. Think about thinking about maybe moving, and see what fires up. Back off until there is no firing. Do a little more, and then back up when the firing feels jumbled or confused. Do this again and again, with love and pleasure. Go as slowly and lightly and gently and unambitiously as you can. Dally into the movement. Flirt with 'awareness', so that you can capture the real moment of initiation.