Demand Avoidance

Some psychologists recognize a pattern called 'demand avoidance.' (It started as 'pathological demand avoidance' but that is ridiculous! Like we need to pathologize more things…) Basically, it is a strong desire to avoid being boxed in in any way. If something feels like it would limit one's options, it will be resisted, and this can sometimes take the person with this pattern into a lot of resistance! I have a friend who might say 'the weather is nice' and if I respond 'oh yes, it is' she might very well tell me I'm wrong. I puzzled over this a long time. And it seems that is part of the pattern—because if you both agree the weather is fine, you are locked in. Game over.

Yikes.